Gurus

I’m playing an online game where my character meets people and gets asked questions. It’s the first stage of the O2 recruitment process. On entering the site, I’m asked to choose a male or female avatar, which is then put in a cartoon world.

I go to the an O2 store, and talk to customers. For realism, silhouettes of pedestrians walk past the windows. Each customer asks fairly sensible questions, and I have a choice of four answers for each. The options are all quite similar, so I’m pretty much choosing at random.

Next I’m at a virtual coffee shop, talking to a friend. They ask: "How is the new job? What do you like most about it?" I’m given four options:

·         I love it! I enjoy working on the shop floor but I prefer the extra responsibility of doing the stock control in the back office.

·         I love it, the mix of being part of a team and remaining independent when it comes to dealing with customers is great for me.

·         I love it! I really enjoy dealing with customers, but like the fact that everyone has individual ownership of what they do.

·         I love it, I get to work with a great team and speak to customers all day!

Note the subtle hint: all O2s employees love their jobs. However, being able to predict what you’ll love about the job is crucial to being offered it.

Then, in the same coffee shop, I meet a colleague. Oddly, she wants to talk about work. "Have you heard about the new phone that's out next week?" An honest answer would be: “No. I’m not interested in phones. I barely use my phone. I’m here because I need a job.” Instead, I can pick from:

·         I know, I have been keeping track of the launch through a few forums. The view at the moment is that it's great.

·         I know, someone told me the other day and I had a look on their website. I can't wait to see it and show it to our customers.

·         Really? That's great, I can't wait to see it. I bet the customers will love it.

·         Oh yes, I heard something about that the other day, what do you know about it?            

All except the last option show an unhealthy level of interest in phones; one of these is clearly the right answer, but as they’re so similar, it’s pretty impossible to know which one. I take a guess, and move on.

My character then meets a friend at a zebra crossing. They ask: "So how are the people you work with? Have you made any new friends?"

·         Yes, it's great I've become good friends with a couple of the other advisors.

·         Yes, there's a couple of people I get on well with.

·         I like the people but I'm not really there to make friends.

·         Yes, there's one person I get on really well with. It makes work more enjoyable.

Here I’m again trying to guess the future: how many colleagues will I get on well with? Apparently, I’m a rubbish mystic. On finishing the game, I’m told: “It looks like the role of Advisor at O2 is not quite right for you. You can try for another O2 Advisor role in 3 months. The responses you gave suggest that you might not always focus enough on delivering a truly world class customer experience.”

I was allowed to apply for a different kind of role, though: an in-store technology expert.

The job title is ‘Guru’. I played again, and was rejected, though it wasn’t for giving my name as Idi Amin: “The responses you gave suggest that you are someone who approaches solving problems in a similar way most of the time. At O2, our Gurus have an incredible amount of creativity and are always coming up with a variety solutions [sic].”

Two rejections, and they hadn’t asked anything about my experience or background. If you think you’d make a better guru, apply here.