A spell of unemployment looks bad on a CV, especially if it coincides with a string of local murders. Experts advise unemployed people to do something useful with their time. This kind of insight shows how valuable experts are.
I work at Oxfam. It’s pleasant enough, and as a volunteer, I get the chance to buy things before they go out on the shelves. This may be mildly corrupt, but it keeps the work interesting.
Part of my job is to sort book donations, and chuck out anything in poor condition, as it wouldn’t sell. A colleague has slightly different criteria. He puts anything on Princess Diana straight in the bin, as he’s sick of her. Michael Moore is binned for being an ‘irritating prick’. Donated ‘misery memoirs’ are chucked straight away, as are Mills and Boon.
Once, we had to get rid of a nice bit of china. A volunteer was sorting a plastic bag full of donations, when there was a crash. “What’s that? Ming... Oh fuck.” Perhaps it was broken already. It wouldn’t surprise me, given some of the useless things people have donated. We’ve recently been given:
- Used knickers
- The G2 section of the Guardian
- A pair of trousers with a suspicious stain
- A locked suitcase without a key
- Two books of sex-tips which smelt like they had been well used.
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