This job, for a cleaner in London, pays £5-7 per hour. It’s a three month contract. The advert suggests that sucessful candidates will have to pay for ‘manual handling training’ and a CRB check before starting.
It’s hardly a golden opportunity. However, by 3pm on the day the advert was posted, it had 175 applications. A part-time admin role at a London law firm, posted on the same day, had attracted 234 CVs by mid-afternoon.
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| Cleaning isn't normally this exciting |
Obviously these are extreme examples, but they may not be too far from normal. The average graduate job attracts 83 applications. Google couldn't track down the figure for other jobs, but it did provide a general picture: the unemployment rate is 7.9%, or 2.49 million people, while another 1.26 million who can’t find a full-time job, so are working part-time.
To see how bad the job market is, have a look at this Gumtree ad, easily the least appealing I’ve seen so far:
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| This job IS NOT FOR YOU! |
Fit strong young man for removals work
YOU MUST LIVE IN KEMP TOWN - NO EXCEPTIONS
YOU MUST BE FIT,STRONG AND HAVE A GOOD ATTITUDE
YOU MUST BE POLITE,WELL PRESENTED AND FRIENDLY
This job is to fill in for current guy who is on holiday until mid september,but could be permnament as he is looking for full time work.
Hours can be as little as 2 hour jobs,upto 10 hour days,so you HAVE TO be flexible,of you don't like this then DO NOT APPLY -ITS SIMPLE ISN'T IT?? THAT IS THE REASON WHY YOU MUST LIVE IN KEMP TOWN - BECAUSE I CAN PICK YOU UP AND THEN GO TO A JOB - WHICH COULD BE ONLY 2 HOURS! JOBS USUALLY LAST 3/4 HOURS THOUGH.
Pay is £6 - £7 p/h plus the odd tip.
Can you help lift a piano?? that is the sort of 'strong' I'm talking about,this job can be very tough - so no weakllings or unfit couch potatoes. You could be up and down 5 flights of staris 50 times - honestly - if this scares you then do not apply - really it can be a very hard job.
Due to the amount of timewasters you now have to attend an informal interview to apply for this job,I am absolutely sick of lazy dimwits who apply for job,then suddenly the night before job their phones don't get answered,you will be working at 8am on saturdays and maybe sundays,so if your out clubbing till 3am then this job IS NOT FOR YOU.
I am looking for a well spoken polite guy not some smelly pikey with tattooes on his neck whos gonna scare the customers - are you getting it?
TEXTS OR EMAILS WILL GO UNANSWERED - CALL ME ONLY ON XXXXXXXXXX
YOU MUST BE FIT,STRONG AND HAVE A GOOD ATTITUDE
YOU MUST BE POLITE,WELL PRESENTED AND FRIENDLY
This job is to fill in for current guy who is on holiday until mid september,but could be permnament as he is looking for full time work.
Hours can be as little as 2 hour jobs,upto 10 hour days,so you HAVE TO be flexible,of you don't like this then DO NOT APPLY -ITS SIMPLE ISN'T IT?? THAT IS THE REASON WHY YOU MUST LIVE IN KEMP TOWN - BECAUSE I CAN PICK YOU UP AND THEN GO TO A JOB - WHICH COULD BE ONLY 2 HOURS! JOBS USUALLY LAST 3/4 HOURS THOUGH.
Pay is £6 - £7 p/h plus the odd tip.
Can you help lift a piano?? that is the sort of 'strong' I'm talking about,this job can be very tough - so no weakllings or unfit couch potatoes. You could be up and down 5 flights of staris 50 times - honestly - if this scares you then do not apply - really it can be a very hard job.
Due to the amount of timewasters you now have to attend an informal interview to apply for this job,I am absolutely sick of lazy dimwits who apply for job,then suddenly the night before job their phones don't get answered,you will be working at 8am on saturdays and maybe sundays,so if your out clubbing till 3am then this job IS NOT FOR YOU.
I am looking for a well spoken polite guy not some smelly pikey with tattooes on his neck whos gonna scare the customers - are you getting it?
TEXTS OR EMAILS WILL GO UNANSWERED - CALL ME ONLY ON XXXXXXXXXX
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| BE POLITE! |
It seems hardly fair for this guy to demand that his employees are polite, friendly people with good attitudes. He appears to be the removal world’s Frank Booth. However, someone seems to have taken the job, as the ad was removed within three days.
The guy who took it must have been desperate for paid work. I am too. My job situation is so bad that I recently applied for a job as sales assistant at a sex shop. I wish I was joking. Here’s the ad:
Applicants must be aged 18 or over. Duties involve selling Adult products which may cause embarrassment to some people. No previous experience is necessary as full training will be given. Duties to include serving customers, dealing with customer enquiries, stock control, cash handling, upselling company’s products and all other relevant duties as required. Must be able to work weekends. There is no obligation to consider making an application for this vacancy. However, if you feel it is suitable for you, please discuss it further with an adviser. The employer has claimed an exception under the Equality Act 2010.
How to apply
You can apply for this job by sending a CV/written application to [name removed] at Nice 'n' Naughty, [email address removed]
Employer
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It’s been two weeks, and I haven’t heard back, which is a relief. What would I have told my parents? “Thanks for deciding to have me, even though you could have probably bought a boat instead. Now I’m a sex shop sales assistant, I think you’ll agree that it was money well spent.”
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